>Hello Sohib EditorOnline, we understand that distance can be a challenging obstacle in any marriage. However, as Muslims, we are blessed with the guidance of Islam which provides solutions to our problems. In this article, we will discuss the ways in which a wife can control her desires when her husband is away. Whether it’s for a business trip or a long-term project, this article will provide some helpful tips to keep your marriage strong.
Before we delve into the ways to control our desires, it is important to understand what ‘nafs’ means in Islam. Nafs refers to our inner desires and inclinations which can be either good or bad. In Islam, we are encouraged to control our nafs and incline towards good deeds. It is important to recognize that having desires is a natural part of being human but it is our responsibility to control them.
1.1 The Importance of Controlling Nafs in Islam
Islam emphasizes the importance of controlling one’s nafs. Allah says in the Quran:
“Verily, the nafs is ever inclining towards evil, except when my Lord bestows His Mercy” (12:53)
It is important to keep in mind that the ultimate goal of self-control is to please Allah. By controlling our desires, we not only strengthen our spirituality but also contribute to our overall well-being.
1.2 Different Types of Nafs
In Islam, nafs can be divided into three types:
Type
Description
Nafs al-Ammara
This is the commanding self which urges us to fulfill our desires without considering the consequences. It is often controlled by the ego.
Nafs al-Lawwama
This is the self that feels guilt and remorse after committing a sin. It is the self that is aware of the consequences of our actions.
Nafs al-Mutma’inna
This is the self that is at peace and content with Allah’s will. It is the highest level of self-control in Islam.
2. The Importance of Trust in a Marriage
Trust is a critical component of any marriage, especially when dealing with distance. When your husband is away, it is important to trust that he will remain faithful to you. This trust can be built over time by communicating openly and honestly with each other. Keep in mind that trust is a two-way street and your husband should also trust you in your actions and intentions.
2.1 Building Trust in a Marriage
Here are some ways to build trust in a marriage:
Communicate honestly and openly with each other.
Be transparent in your actions and intentions.
Give each other space and time to pursue individual interests.
In Islam, we are taught to rely on Allah in all aspects of our lives. When dealing with any struggles, it is important to make dua to Allah for guidance and support. Ask Allah for strength to control your desires and to help you remain faithful to your husband.
3.1 Recommended Duas for Self-Control
Here are some duas that can be recited for self-control:
“Rabbana la tuzigh quloobana ba’da idh hadaytana wa hab lana milladunka rahmah innaka antal wahhab” (Surah Ali Imran:8) Translation: “Our Lord! Let not our hearts deviate after You have guided us, and grant us mercy from Yourself. Truly, You are the Bestower.”
“Allahumma inni a’udhu bika minal hammi wal hazan, wal ajzi wal kasali, wal bukhli wal jubni, wa dala’id-dain, wa ghalabatir-rijal” Translation: “O Allah, I seek refuge in You from grief and sadness, from weakness and laziness, from miserliness and cowardice, from being heavily in debt and from being overpowered by men.”
4. Keeping Busy With Productive Activities
When your husband is away, it is easy to fall into the trap of idleness and boredom. This can lead to negative thoughts and desires. A good way to keep your nafs under control is to keep yourself busy with productive activities. This not only helps you stay focused but also has the added benefit of improving your skills and knowledge.
4.1 Examples of Productive Activities
Here are some examples of productive activities that you can engage in:
Read books on topics that interest you.
Take an online course to improve your skills.
Volunteer at a local charity or organization.
Pick up a new hobby like painting or gardening.
5. Communicating with Your Husband
One of the best ways to control your desires is to communicate openly and honestly with your husband. Even though he may be physically away, you can still maintain a strong emotional connection through frequent communication. By sharing your thoughts and feelings with each other, you can strengthen your bond and keep your desires in check.
5.1 Effective Communication Tips
Here are some tips for effective communication with your husband:
Schedule regular phone or video calls to stay connected.
Be honest about your feelings and concerns.
Listen actively to your husband’s concerns.
Avoid making assumptions and ask for clarification if needed.
6. Seeking Guidance from Islamic Scholars
If you are struggling with controlling your desires, it may be helpful to seek guidance from Islamic scholars. They can provide you with Islamic knowledge and advice to help you strengthen your spirituality and develop self-control.
6.1 How to Find an Islamic Scholar
Here are some ways to find an Islamic scholar:
Ask for recommendations from family and friends.
Search online for reputable Islamic centers or mosques.
Contact local Islamic organizations for guidance.
FAQs
1. Is it normal to have desires when my husband is away?
Yes, it is natural to have desires as a human being. However, it is important to control them and resist any temptations that may lead to sinful behavior.
2. How can I control my desires when my husband is away for a long time?
You can control your desires by keeping yourself busy with productive activities, communicating with your husband regularly, making dua to Allah for support, and seeking guidance from Islamic scholars.
3. Is it permissible to engage in sexual acts with my husband over the phone?
No, it is not permissible to engage in sexual acts over the phone or any other means of communication. Intimacy should only take place between married couples in person.
You can build trust in your marriage by communicating honestly and openly with each other, being transparent in your actions and intentions, giving each other space and time to pursue individual interests, and forgiving each other’s mistakes.
5. What should I do if my desires become overwhelming?
If your desires become overwhelming, seek refuge in Allah and make dua for guidance and support. You can also seek guidance from Islamic scholars.
Cara Mengatasi Nafsu saat Suami Jauh dalam Islam
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